Just so you know
by aurghhh
Summary: Emily and Paige talk about their breakup and reunion.


**A/N:** This is the talk Emily and Paige never had in 5x11/12, and probably won't have onscreen because of the time jump to 5x13. Just because.

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><p>"We really should talk," Emily insisted.<p>

"We could just kiss again," Paige suggested. "That worked well last time."

Emily smiled. Paige did that to her. But as tempting as it was, and she did feel a bit nervous about this, they needed to discuss what had happened.

Ever since they had rekindled their relationship, things had seemed so natural. It would have been easy to just keep going like that, but Emily wanted Paige to know how she felt, and how things had changed since that night on her porch.

So here they were, sitting at Emily's window seat, ready to share their feelings.

Emily took a deep breath.

It was time.

"The first thing I want to say is that I'm sorry," Emily began.

"Em, you don't have to," Paige responded.

"I know, but I am," Emily replied. "I kept secrets from you, I refused to listen to you because I didn't want to believe the truth about Alison, and I made accusations against you that weren't fair."

"Thank you," Paige said. "I still did the wrong thing though."

Emily thought for a moment.

"When we argued outside the post office I was angry," she explained. "I felt trapped…"

"And I made that worse," Paige interjected.

"You did," Emily agreed. "It's hard to explain, but with everything that's happened to me over the last few years, it's important that I can make my own decisions. But I also understand now how hard that must have been for you, watching me put myself in danger for Alison."

"I didn't know what to do," Paige explained.

"At the time I wanted you to do nothing," Emily responded. "But that was unfair too. I can't expect you to stop caring for me."

"Wow," Paige said. "I… I didn't expect that."

"It's true," Emily responded.

Paige was quiet for a moment, but Emily wanted to let her think about what she had just said.

"I was scared, I guess," Paige said. "I'd known something was wrong for a while, then when I found out it was Alison, I panicked. I just wanted to make you stop, make you stay away from her."

"That's understandable," Emily said.

"Maybe, but I should have found another way," Paige replied. "Not forced you."

"I wasn't listening," Emily countered.

"Then I should have been there for you until you were ready to listen," Paige suggested. "I guess I reacted in the way you worried I would. It's no wonder you didn't tell me."

"I didn't tell you because Alison convinced me I couldn't trust anyone," Emily explained. "She wanted to cut me off, make sure I didn't listen to anyone else. And it worked."

The room was silent again. Emily just felt like a fool for having believed Alison's lies.

"What would have happened if I'd been wrong about Alison?" Paige asked.

Emily thought about that for a moment.

"I guess I might have taken a little longer to realize I'd been too hard on you," Emily replied. "But, Paige, I knew I still loved you long before I admitted who Alison really was. I know it would have made it harder, but we would be having this conversation even if I was still trying to protect Alison."

Paige smiled a little.

"As hard as it was, knowing you still cared about me got me through sometimes," Paige said. "I knew I had to try to give you space, but you kept reaching out for me."

"I'm sorry, that must have been confusing," Emily said.

"No, please, don't apologize," Paige insisted. "If you'd have wanted nothing to do with me, that would have been much harder. Even thinking I'd screwed up was easier to take than if I thought you just didn't love me anymore."

"I did love you, Paige," Emily said. "I never stopped loving you. I know it was my choice, but it broke my heart leaving you."

Paige reached out and took Emily's hand.

"I know," she said. "It was funny, because I tried to move on. I made myself go on a date. I knew I should, but it just didn't feel right. I felt bad for Anna afterwards."

"I was ready to be happy for you, too," Emily said. "I thought I'd missed my chance, and someone else had found you."

"Someone else did, but my heart was still with you," Paige responded.

As relieved as Emily felt, she knew there was one more thing she had to tell Paige.

"Paige, there's something else," Emily began. "This… might be hard for you, but I don't want to keep secrets anymore."

"OK," Paige said.

"While we were apart, I… kissed Alison," Emily confessed. "It was just the once, and it was a mistake, but… it happened."

Paige looked a little taken aback, but didn't appear too shocked.

"I thought you might have," was all Paige said.

"How do you feel?" Emily asked.

Paige shrugged her shoulders.

"Honestly, if it had never happened I'd be good with that," Paige replied. "But if that's what you needed to do, then I don't judge you for that."

"Thank you," Emily said. "I was confused. People kept asking me if I still had feelings, and seeing her now, after thinking she was dead for so long, it reminded me of how I used to feel. But it turns out I don't feel that way anymore."

"Nothing?" Paige asked.

"Nothing," Emily confirmed. "All the drama of trying to protect her when her life was in danger… it was just drama, that's all it was. I wasn't in love with her. Looking back, maybe I never was. I think I was in love with who I wanted her to be, and who I thought I could be if I was as confident as she was. Now… she's just a messed up girl."

"That must have been hard," Paige said.

"Not as hard as almost losing you," Emily replied. "This may sound strange, but it's been good in a way. Going through this has made me realize what's important. My friends, my family, being who I am now, not who I was back then, and most of all, you."

Paige was smiling again. Emily was too.

"Em, can I just say one thing?" Paige asked.

"Sure," Emily replied.

"I respect you for what you did," Paige said. "You gave her a chance, and as much as it hurt, you tried to do the right thing, even when it was hard. You could have told her to go away, you could have told me you wanted nothing to do with me, but you didn't. You were right before that I couldn't just stop caring, but neither could you. And look, I appreciate everything you've said just now, but really, Em, I love you more than ever. I just thought you should know that."

Emily's eyes welled up.

"I love you too," she said. "You've been amazing these last few weeks. You've shown strength and courage, and you've shown how much you care for me. I promise I'll never put someone else over our relationship again, and I won't keep secrets from you like that."

"And I will always care about you, but if you feel you have to do something I won't try to stop you," Paige responded. "In fact, I'll help you, whatever it is. I know I can trust you, even when I don't completely understand."

"It's a deal," Emily said.

"It is," Paige agreed.

With that, Emily leaned in and kissed Paige. She was tired of talking.


End file.
